Dizzy Mitchell

by john ross
(cardenden fife)

This story's aboot Dizzy Mitchell's dug
Wan leg missing and half a lug
The poor wee dugs nae got a name
But Dizzy she's got dreams o fame

Noo her man Bill shouts enough, s'enough
When Dizzy says well gan tae crufts
The forms been filled the money sent
Probably came from the packies rent

The weeks passed slowly the big day came
When dizzy would make her claim to fame

Noo Dizzy Cannae see ower the dashboard fae bill went and bought an F1 Picasso
Out o the drive and away fae hame hell bound for England on the road tae fame
Well the Picasso made it and Noo their there she wishes shed done something WI his hair
But she's no rankled efter aw it's the wee dug there judging no his pa

The entrants are called oot tae the rink
There's money here ye can smell the stink
Dizzy steps up sticks oot her foot and walks right into a pile o poop
Nae time tae stop and clean it Noo fir the wee dugs time is nearly due

Fir here come the judges tae dae there deed and wan o them is her friend Pat Speed
Now pat he stops has second look
For he's no quite sure if he?s mistook
For he Cannae place the wee dugs breed wi the body o a yorkie and a Great Danes heed

Now our boy Pat is naebodys fool he says I ken I'll bend the rule
Up steps Pat pets the wee dugs heed pins the prize on Dizzy and declares best o breed
Noo dinnae blame Pat for I'm sure you will agree she's wan o a kind for the world to see

Well Noo it's ower and she's back hame gled she made her claim to fame
Bills still Doon their full o whoop making a fortune selling dug poop
Its no real hard to see where he's been Ye jist hae tae look at their Pastures Green