Glaswegian Survival Guide

by Don Alland
(Toronto)

Mah furst baginnin
wen ah wis ainly eight
wis tae lern tae be a teddy boy

they hud th fancy claithes
wi big laing jaikets
n chains n brogues
they wir mah saviours
cuz Glesga wis full a anger
in the Gorbals

n thairs mair

ah wis goin tae the barras
wi mah da
we stoaped tae git
sum roasted peanuts
under the wee railway bridge
n we saw twa teddy boys
draggin a boady
wi is nose in the tram tracks
ah couldane look away
fae ma destiny

ah wisnae skert

oan thi way hame
near oor close
ah heerd sum shoutin
doon by the midden
wuz a wee fight goin oan
mah fren says it wuz
thi catholics in oor tenement
n ah ran n dumped the midden
fa empty cans
n wee sticks
tae make a hatchet wi
tae thrae at the catholics
fir nae reason ataw

afta ah threw ma three hatchets
n stood up tae see wa wiz gaein oan
sum bloody Catholic threw a brick
hitme in the heid
n ah still have thi scar
tae this day