Language Barrier!

by Hellon
(Australia)

Ma cuzin came tae visit me
frae Ozzieland, in the bush
he'd never been tae Glesga afore
so we went oot oin the juice.

The boozer's wiz fer jumpin'
awe ma pals wur there
when he ordered up a midi
the barmaid said "That's a skirt yae wear!"

He said "ok I'll have a stubbie then
if I can't have my favourite beer"
she thoat he'd caud hur chubby
an ended up wae a thick ear.

Oin the way hame we caught the bus
ma cuzin thoat the conductor wiz daft
fur she widnnae let us get oin board
she said 'cummon git aff".

We went in tae the chippy
an ended up in a blue
a ordered a special fish
he asked fur sum kangaroo.

Noo he's away back tae Ozzieland
am visitin' him next year
he's waitin' noo tae pay me back
oin that he wiz quite clear.

"When you come to visit mate
be sure to bring your thongs'
Me! prancin' aroon in ma underwear
nae whiy..he's goat that wrong.

'We'll camp out in the bush by night
I'll but a billy on"
Diz he think that am a poof or whit?
that's it....am urnae goin!

@Hellon January 2009